MY STORY
If someone had told me a few years ago that I’d develop a deep affection for an ATV, I would have chuckled at the notion. Little did I know that this machine would become more than just a vehicle—it would be a companion on my journey to better mental health.
I rarely discussed it openly, except with my close circle, until a few months ago when, amid washing dishes, I found myself gazing out the window at my beloved ATV. In that moment, I felt compelled to share my mental health journey and the profound impact this four-wheeled companion had on it.
My story involves a hiatus from October 2021 to April 2022 due to unresolved issues from my past catching up with me. Life has a way of catching us off guard, and sometimes, we must take the time needed to confront our challenges. As a self-professed strong and independent woman, facing the reality of needing a break was initially frustrating. From December to June, weekly therapy sessions became my lifeline. If there’s one gift you can give yourself, it’s the gift of facing your feelings, embracing them, and then moving forward.
Therapy opened my eyes to the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions. It became a process of dealing with one feeling at a time, naming them, sharing, shedding tears, finding laughter, and allowing moments of anger.
Returning to the ATV, throughout my life, I’d tell myself, “It would be fun to go ride with someone.” The pandemic prompted my partner and me to start riding, but fear held me back from taking the reins. The fear of not being good enough, not reacting appropriately, and the dread of potential embarrassment mirrored the apprehensions I faced in my mental health journey.
But during my leave, tired of letting negative thoughts control me, I decided to confront my fears. Initially, I could only manage short rides due to tense shoulders, a testament to the battle with fear. Even during winter—despite my aversion to it—I ventured out alone, equipping myself properly against the cold, realizing the transformative power of conquering fear.
My journey progressed from cautious cornering on trails to deliberately seeking out water puddles. The pivotal moment was traversing a mud hole, sparking a newfound passion. Attending a mud event in May, I observed the camaraderie and support within the ATV community. Soon, I found myself immersed, hooked on the thrill of mud fests, and involving my family, especially my teenager, in the adventure.
The moral of my story is a simple challenge: confront your fears. Just as I unexpectedly fell in love with ATV riding, you might discover a profound connection to something you never thought possible.